So I am back in London after travelling America for the past 5 weeks. I’m struggling a bit to be honest. When you travel extensively, sometimes it’s hard to get back into the ‘real’ world. It feels a bit weird being back. I met so many people, made new friends over the world, had some horrible and amazing experiences and saw some amazing sights. After being in a new and different country for so long I began to wonder where is my ‘home’?
I kinda feel like I don’t belong anywhere. I caught up with two girlfriends I hadn’t seen in a year in LA, it was like old times and seems as though nothing much has changed for them back home…..I don’t want that. I don’t want t be stuck doing the same ol, I want to move forward with my life, achieve, learn, explore, discover, enlighten. Being away from my homeland for a year, it’s hard. A part of me wants to go back so bad, but I also want to stay over here and do as much travelling and exploring as I can. I’ve learnt so much and discovered so much about myself this past year, I want to keep going. Besides, I don’t even know where home is in NZ…..my parents live in Sydney, Christchurch didn’t feel like home when I left. Then there’s my current ‘home’ London. I have to start from scratch again and find a job and home. That’s never really fun. I’ve met some great people here but time is limited, my visa end date looms ever closer and so does all my new friends. You make a new friend then they leave, who knows when you’ll see them again. That’s hard. London is an incredible city, so much to see and do but it is HUGE. There are so many people and it will chew you up and spit you out. This is not the kind of place I want to settle, I crave peace, space, a CAR.
With all that in mind I can’t help but wonder what to do. Do I keep travelling and have lot’s of ‘homes’? Do I travel to find my new home? Do I travel then go back to NZ? Part of me wants to settle down somewhere and part of me wants to get as much travel and adventure in while I am young and have no restrictions. I kinda feel like I’m being torn in two. I don’t see I have much of a choice though, I have to get a job to fund any future travels and even allow me to stay in London. For now, London is my home. I gotta let the future come to me as it will and enjoy the journey – have faith it’s all going to work out the way it’s meant to and that the answers will come.
I would never give up this experience for anything but know that travel is not all positive all the time. It comes with sacrifice, emotion just like anything else in life. Alot of people only see the good side, the amazing views, awesome new friends, crazy experiences. No one really likes to talk about or share the harder side of it. It is a bit emo, I get it!. Can you imagine meeting someone, a friend, a potential partner, you get time with them, a week, a month, a year then you have to say goodbye? You start get to know someone and form a bond then you gotta say goodbye and have no idea when/if you will see them again. That’s one of the hardest things for me. I am all about quality over quantity with who I let in my life and when I meet someone I click with It’s hard to let them go. Yes, there is skype, facebook etc but it’s not the same as physical contact, spending time with them, hanging out doing random shit etc But, it’s all part of the journey and I have to accept and adapt. I would rather have a little time with these amazing people I meet than none at all. I have learnt so much from the different people I have met the world over.
Travel helps you grow.
But when and how do you decide when to stop?
When and where do you settle’?
Time will tell.
I’m going to post up more about my travels in America with plenty of pictures, stay tuned! xxx